Why I write

I write because it’s soothing.
It’s the colors that I see.
It’s where I drift.
Through pictures and scenes,
within skies that gleam,
inside of a neon fluorescent colored dream.

I write because it’s all that I know
It’s all I can be.
I write because it’s me.

It’s the air I inhale.
It’s the food that I eat.
It’s the air I exhale.
It’s the drum that I beat.

It’s the oxygen in my blood,
The river flowing through my veins;
Extending to my hands, through my fingers making way,
Determined – to scratch sense into words.

This is the menstrual cycle through which,
bloody words stain pages, with proof of my ability to bear life.
This is my testament to God that I too can create.

I can create!
I can create words that meet eachother,
move, dance, and fuck eachother.
And on paper, they give birth to other words.

My hands stretch,
They reach and they push,
They bend and they pull.
My hands hold.
Notes out of keys,
Notes out of strings.
These ashy hands,
They can write hymns.

I write because I feel.
I write because I’m alive.
And ‘this’ is the hand that masturbates my mind.

I write because at times,
the way I exist through those lines,
I can never be.

I write because it helps my curiosity peak.
To beat par with the thumping heart of a child,
To taste through their taste buds,
To see through their eyes
To finally wriggle
Into paradise.

And however much this world preaches,
On how to be a man;
To have many women on demand,
To reign over other men’s land.
How to be a man:
Buy the jeans, and drive the car,
Use ‘this cream to hide that scar.’

They say – that to be a man – you have to own certain things.
Things that are but needles injected into veins,
Things that are but methods to put that child away.
This!
This is how I keep from being led astray.

I write because I want to leave something when I’m gone.
And when I die,
and my body rots,
while in me maggots sway,
feasting on my flesh’s decay,
When my ashes are blown away,
to places they can rest,
and places they’ll be swept.
Someone will say
“here is what he left.”